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oh, winter.

Oct. 29th, 2008 | 10:27 am
mood: mellowmellow
music: the cure

                    i hate you.

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Oct. 28th, 2008 | 08:20 pm
mood: flirtyflirty
music: the clash

well i guess i never got back to updating. my bad! i've been busy somewhat. lol. but anyways, i've been speaking to my mom alot lately. i get to see her this sunday. im so excited. i miss her. & now i get to spend it with my bestiee<3333333333333 alyssa:) yayaya. we're going to take 389472394732894738472389572893 pictures. & see saw 5 & eat chinese food. haha i miss that bitch so much<3 ugh. i finally got to see my uncle kenny & his baby girl Grac & new wife. i havent seen him since i was aobut 6. or something. so it was nice. my grandparents also came up to meet everyone, & so did jenn<3 me and her went to a halloween party up at the lodge saturday night. we dressed up as MK&A. LOL of course. heres a picture.

lol.. i love us. haha anywayss, today snowed!! yes, i can't believe it either. ugh. i fucking hate winter. but i also hate working in shitty weather & being busy at the same time, i mean, common it's snowing like 10 inches & people still have the nerve to come to the market place & ask us for 13 philly cheese steaks & 8923912 sandwhiches.. i hate people sometimes. haha. but it's all good, Ricky came in to visit me:) ugh so HOT. srsly. i droll over this boy. don't ask me why, maybe it's the punk in him or something. i love rocker boys. esp. punks. ahah soo yeah, he drove me home & stuff. asked me if i wanted to go to a football game on friday & then to Hawley to hangout for halloween with a buncha people i don't know.. haha. of course i said yes! but i couldn't understand why he asked me to a football game & then he told me it's because he got jumped last friday night by 13 guys & is going to the game to fight them again or something. he didn't even have a scratch on him! crazyness. punnk ass. ahah. <33 but anywayss, things are looking good for me nowadays. making the moneey& im seeing the hottest boy alive. life can't be nicer. but as for right now, im going to take a jaccuzii bubble bathe since im addicted to those anymore.



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Oct. 26th, 2008 | 04:36 pm
mood: crazycrazy

okay, wow. so i havent updated in yet ANOTHER month. hahah soryr my bad. work of course still takes over my life, and now i have two jobs. so cool. but anyways, halloween is in like 5 days. unfortunally i wont be spending it the way i wanted to, but it's going to be even better being i get to spend it with the most georgous boy, ever. im going to his highschools football game. & god knows what afterwards. probably a ncie party. or something:) oh, your probably wondering who this georgous boy im referring to is, well, his name isn't phil, if that's what your wondering. hahaha, i guess i forgot to update about that as well, but who the fuck cares it's not important. anyways, my newest intrest, is Ricky. yeah ill get into better detail alittle later because im updating at work right now. i get off in 20 min so ill post another entry then.


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Sep. 23rd, 2008 | 12:55 pm
mood: excitedexcited

you know what my favorite season and holiday is? FALL//HALLOWEEN!! yes! that's right. i seriously cannot wait. only alittle over a month until the most exciting holiday of the year is here :) since i have the biggest sweet tooth, love to wear 10lbs of make-up and dress up, and have a uncontrolabe obsession with HORROR films, and everything else involved. it's my favorite time of the year. im going to post a few pictures of my favorite types of sweets, costume idea's, favorite horror films & things i just abs. love about FALL. enjoyy!!


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Jul. 16th, 2008 | 11:04 am
mood: excitedexcited


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(no subject)

Jun. 30th, 2008 | 02:23 pm
mood: hungryhungry

i want you ALL.

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shawwty is a TEN

Jun. 26th, 2008 | 03:47 pm
mood: hungryhungry

im in the lil wayne phase again.

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backrubs&purple nailpolish

Jun. 25th, 2008 | 11:43 pm
mood: lazylazy

are two of my favorite things right now. im painting my nails a florescent purple as im getting a nice backrub :) life is gooooooooood. tomorrow tony get's to stay home from work with me hopefully. we're going to have a blast cleaning up the entire house! lol. i hope i don't get stranded. i love my new tights. black ones. i think ill wear it with my dress on friday :) with my heels. i need to go back to new york city. get new shoes, and dresses. and more sunglasses. did i mention i've become obsessed with neon color sunglasses? well, i bought a pink pair and a green pair. i really hope my order from MAC with all my lipglosses comes in soon. i should of just splurged in MAC today when i went but i was being rushed, i had 15min in each store i went to and the lines were 5 min of it and knowing me, i take hours to shop for new makeup. i can't rush that stuff. so i didnt get much today. but im satisfied with what i did purchase :) but im going to relax. hopefully sleep in until 12 tomorrow since i didn't even go to bed last night. & was up in new york at 5am. alright bedtime.

goodnight for real this time.

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Jun. 25th, 2008 | 10:19 pm
mood: amusedamused

soo new york was amazing, as usual. i bought some new mac makeup and NARS makeup, and a few sunglasses from urban outfitters& some tights. didn't really get to shop the way i wanted to. but i can always go back :) soo, anyways, UPDATE on my life. i feel like venting right now. basically, im happy with where im at in life. i go through so many periods of time when im happy with someone, then just start to lose interest, whether its because of personal reasons between someone, or distance, or even finding someone else, i find that happening more than id expect. but im not complaining, because im obiviously, learning how to have a relationship, and how to handle my problems and down falls, better. and if things don't work out, it's not because im "cold hearted", or because i dont have any "compassion", it's simply because it wasn't meant to be because i really didn't want it that bad. if i did, the little things wouldn't matter, and i would look over those things if i was truly "happy" in the relationship. obiviously, if im still not with you, it's because i just can't love you the way you want me to. and your just not right for me, point blank. and as offensive as your gonna take something like that, i don't regret my actions, because it's how i feel. whether or not they hurt you, my main purpose, it to make myself happy, not to please anyone else but myself. and if im not happy, why prolong it? im not going to sit here and bash anyone, but if you feel that im being cold hearted, then im sorry you feel that way. you only feel that way because your hurt. things didn't go the way you wanted, so im the bad guy. you don't always get what you want, and i never do, and i don't sit and bitch about it. i move on, and if that makes me less caring or compassionate, then so be it. i rather not sit at home dwelling on something i can't have or that didn't work, and instead, move on and find  exactly what im looking for. maybe you should take my advice this time. im done taking yours. or anyone's for that matter. i think thats my problem, noones perfect, i know that, but when i do come across a problem in a relationship & go to someone about it, and actually take their advice, im the bad guy. so maybe i need to start doing what i want, and not taking anyones advice but my own, and see how that works out for me. maybe you should do the opposite of what you do, and see how that turns out for you too. we'll both teach eachother something new. im a bitch, everyone has their flaws, you can be a asshole, so what? do i hold that against you? no. so please don't do that to me. i know you'll never directly tell me that im being a bitch or you feel that way but its probably because you know that you only feel that way because i hurt you. let's me adults here. we're not in highschool anymore baby. relationships fall apart everyday. fights emerge more than ever, that's life. noone ever last's anymore. get used to it. your not in love, you want to tell yourself you are because it's something you want so bad, but honestly i don't think you understand, that to expect someone to love you in such a short period of time the way you expect them to or want them to, is unrealistic. two opposites, can't expect the same thing from eachother. it's just impossible. last time i actually loved and cared about someone, they hurt me. i think, i thought i was in love because of certain circumstances, but i knew deep down, it wasn't going to last, so i didn't bother getting attached. why should i? if im leaving. distance, can work for some people, but people aren't trust worthy anymore. get used to it. that's just how it goes anymore. date. like people, care about people, love people, but don't expect too much, because im sure, you wouldn't appreciate it if someone was expecting things from you that you might not be able to give. i handle things my own way and so do you, but i try & not make it public. but i guess that's how some people are able to get over things, so, so be it. im over it. im not going to get upset about what other people might think or feel about some of the decisions i make anymore, because who are they to me? if i left them, it's because i don't need them in my life, so say what you gotta say to make yourself feel better, because im fine without you.

have a good night. everyone. xxoo :)

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Jun. 24th, 2008 | 11:20 pm
mood: tiredtired

im trying really hard to fall asleep. im having a hard time doing so though. i have so much on my mind. so many events coming up, in two days. im having mixed feelings between nervousness, & excitement. i love having family time. it makes me appreaciate everything i have more when everything i need is right there next to me. i don't know where i would be without my family. especially my brothers and sister. they've showed me what it's like to actually have a family. and have eachothers back when you need to. i love them. but on a different note, i've started working. last saturday. the job title itself, sucks, but theres a thing or two i'd have to say i enjoy and it's basically people i work with. well, i only work with one, but the other is good to have around :) i abs. hate my boss, well to be honest, i think she hates me more. but whatever, as long as she pays me, i guess i shouldn't complain. it's times like these where i wish i learned how to swim& became a lifeguard instead. hahahahaha, i'd give anythingggg to be a lifeguard now. for more than one reason of course! but pickers can't be chosers. i really want my blackberry curve. i have yet to get it, but once i do, ill be one happy camper. soo this just in, im going to new york with my mom in about 4 hours. lol. wonderful! so randommm. but oh well, ill never turn down a chance to go to new york city. <333 but anyways, um, so much has happend since my birthday. but bascially, i graduated, moved an hr away from wilkesbarre, started a new relationship, ended one, and im starting a new one again, lost a few friends, gained a few, same shit, different year. you know how it goes. i've rown up alot since then. style wise, and the way i view things is completely different then it was back in march. i guess having a new relationship& makeing new friends, effected me more than i could ever imagine. good? i hope so. but im alittle worried about my health lately. i've been eatting like a crazy monster, well obiviously packing a few lbs, getting really sick, too many sugar rushes, lack of sleep. & all that stuff. i feel as though, i need to start taking sleeping pills. i know there not very safe, but i can't sleep anymore and it's effecting my performance and mood. and i just can't have that. so i gotta do, what i gotta do. ya dig? but anyways, back to reality here. so let me introduce you two a few new people, DEBBIE: my new boss. the bitch, shes a blonde crackhead. well - the crack part, but she has something against both my parents and just loves to take it out on me. then theres, MIKE: hesthe top chef, awesome man. he gives me breaks& all that good stuff. good man. then theres CHRIS: he started work three days before me, so hes also the new guy, hes 22 and from new york, hes MAD chill, & i get along with him very well, hes my partner in crime bascailly there. we have alot in common, & hes quiet the looker :) reminds me of chris brown. for some odd reason. ahahahha then theres of course, PHIL: the lifeguard! haha okay so i havent told you great detail, but when i first moved here, my parents were dying to get me to meet this guy, & well, i did. lol, & im also glad i did. i refused to for some long, but hay, it happend, and im not complaining! but anyways, hes 21, jewish haha, goes to college in nj, hes weathly, a sweetheart, my parents are secretly in love with him( well no, they've made it very public how much they love this guy) & um, well has beautiful eyes. then of course, theres other people that i don't really give a dead mooses last shit about, but those are pretty much the people i actually know stuff about. my workforce, pretty much. except for phil, he just works at the lodge, but visits me 24/7 so it's kinda like he works with me too. haahahhhahaha but yeah, it's almost midnight & i have to get up in 4 hours, so i should probably stop blogging & go to sleep even tho i know it's not going to happen=[. well, ill try. goodnight bitches.

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